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Dunk and Plunder

PG-13 / 1,055 words / romance, humor / published 04/24/10

Summary: Severus has a penchant for something he would prefer to keep secret from Harry. Established relationship.
Disclaimer: The brilliant characters belong solely to J.K. Rowling. The plot and typos are my own. No profit is being made.
A/N: Cheers to ChooseToLive for the beta – and the laugh.



"Get out of those," Severus commanded, sweeping back into the room with an air of irritation. Inwardly he cursed himself for having left them in plain view.

Drawing his hand back as though Severus' words had struck him, Harry leaned up onto his elbows instead, craning his neck rather inelegantly in order to get a better look inside the bag. "Why, what are they?"

"Nothing you should be bothering with. Run along."

"Fat chance, Severus. What's in the bag?" But when Harry made to grab for it, he found Severus was much quicker. With a flash of blue plastic wrapping, it suddenly disappeared.

Insinuating himself back onto the sofa with a glass tumbler in his hand, Severus leaned against the cushions and offered his most sardonic smile. The bag was nestled in the crook of his arm.

Harry snorted softly, the corners of his eyes crinkling as his mouth widened into an easy smile. Then he eyed the tumbler. "Wait, are you drinking milk?"

Severus' expression grew serious. "Yes. It is… rather necessary."

"Necessary for what?"

Severus knew what Harry was trying to do – his husband often employed this tactic. Harry would string a conversation along with an endless flow of questions… until he got what he wanted. Severus was annoyed to note that it usually worked, too. Tonight he decided to concede an early defeat, lest he endure what would no doubt become another litany of inquiries. Later he would find a suitable hiding place for the bag, and cease being so foolish as to consume them someplace as public as their sitting room.

"Oh, very well," he sighed. Reaching into the blue package, he pulled something out. "You may have one," he stated begrudgingly, ignoring the grin on Harry's face as he handed it over.

Rotating it between the fingers of one hand, Harry inspected it curiously before looking back up at Severus. "It's a chocolate biscuit," he deadpanned.

"Not just any chocolate biscuit, you foolish boy – a Muggle delicacy." Severus held up the bag for Harry to see. "They call them Oreos."

Dumbfounded, Harry couldn't seem to decide which question he wanted to ask first. "How do you– … uh, when– … where the hell did you get those?" His eyebrows inched closer to his hairline.

Severus chuckled softly. "I see I still have the power to surprise you. How nice."

Before he could toss out the comeback that had clearly been on the tip of his tongue, Harry seemed to consider something else. His expression shifted to one of mock outrage. "You were totally going to hoard these, weren't you? And not even offer me one!"

The only response Severus deigned to offer was an arched brow and pursed lips.

"Bastard." It lacked the proper bite, however, when Harry laughed. Then, without skipping a beat, he continued. "So what is the milk for?" Obviously he was not ready to let the conversation go just yet.

Reaching delicately into the plastic bag this time, Severus withdrew one of the chocolate treats and held it gingerly over the rim of the tumbler. "Do observe." Dipping just the edge of the Oreo, Severus held it in his milk for several seconds before bringing it up to his mouth. When his lips closed around the softened part, his eyes slid shut, too. The low sound from the back of his throat spoke of his bliss.

Harry just sat there raptly, his mouth open slightly, apparently unsure whether or not this was a joke. Severus knew he did not make a show of eating food like this. Usually.

Severus repeated the dipping gesture again for the other side of the cookie, careful to not wet his fingers in the milk, and consumed the remaining part. Once again, his eyes closed as he chewed thoughtfully. Satisfied, he draped an arm over the back of the sofa and licked his lips to collect any stray crumbs. "That, Harry, is how one should consume an Oreo cookie."

Harry snorted. "Figures you would have a rule. It's a biscuit, Severus. Why not like this?" He twisted the two halves of his Oreo apart and licked the cream side, wiggling his tongue flat against it, his gaze pinning Severus.

Severus pretended he wasn't watching with interest, but knew he'd given himself away when his throat bobbed in a thick swallow. And the fact that he failed to divert his eyes.

Eyes gleaming wickedly, Harry pressed his two halves back together and dunked the entire thing into Severus' tumbler, milk coating his fingers while sloshing it onto the coffee table.

"Or maybe like this?" Harry purred, popping the whole thing into his mouth, a few stray drops of milk hitting his chin.

"Heathen."

Harry chuckled, low and throaty.

Within moments, Severus had a lapful of Harry. Strong arms wrapped around his neck and two eager lips crushed against his own. When a tongue darted into Severus' mouth, the taste of Oreos and milk and Harry intermingled.

Severus took control immediately, guiding Harry's head with his hands, sucking out his lower lip and nibbling the chocolate taste off his mouth. Harry moaned and pushed his lithe body against Severus, squeezing his thighs where they straddled Severus' lap.

Abruptly, Severus pushed Harry back. "Why must everything with you always be about sex?"

Harry only grinned that crooked grin of his, eyes twinkling with mischief.

Severus feigned his disapproval while his hands reached down to unbutton Harry's denims.

Harry's grin widened – if such a thing were possible. "And to think… you almost didn't offer me one."